Friday, June 18, 2010

Joy comes in the morning!

It's been quite a while since my last blog...
I was at youth camp all last week.

Boy did God move the whole week!!
He worked in me like He never has before! It was truly the most awesome experience of my life!

I came home.

I don't know what it is but ever since I woke up Saturday morning the devil has been fighting me harder than I have ever felt in my life! I don't know what I'm fighting or what I'm struggling with but it's something huge. I have never felt this low in my life. The harder I try to fight, the harder it gets. The devil keeps trying to get me to throw in the towel. To give up.
But I will stand strong! I've come way too far to turn back now!
The Lord is my strength and in Him will I trust!

I went to a camp meeting service with some friends tonight. God was speaking to my heart the whole time. But yet it felt like no matter what I did or how hard I tried I couldn't grasp hold of it.
But on the way home, we were listening to some random mix cd of different songs. I can't remember the name of the song and the only words I remember are "Yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord Amen", but in the middle of it there was a guy talking. You wanna know what he said?

"The Bible says that JOY comes in the morning, but morning doesn't have to have an a.m. behind it. Morning is when you wake up and realize that God is right there with you through it all."

I got chills when I heard that. It was like God was reinforcing what I couldn't grasp in the service... if that makes sense.
That if I would just realize He IS beside me and He hasn't left me (Hebrews 13:5- I will never leave thee nor forsake thee) then whatever this wall is that is standing in my way will fall and crumble. I have to keep pushing and I have to stay strong.

I just feel so... exhausted. Spiritually. Like I've put my everything into praying for my family and trying to be strong for them and trying to set the example for them and I just poured out everything I had on them and now there's nothing left for me. Does that sound selfish? I don't mean to be, at all. I just need God to fill me so full of His Spirit that I have enough left over for me after I pour it all out on them.

Which means, I need to seek His face more. I need to pray more. I need to fast more (more than 20 minutes haha... for those of you who were at camp). And I need to read & study my Bible more. I LONG to get to that place where He is truly all I want and all I desire. To that point where turning back isn't even an option. The point where I fall so in love with Him nothing or no one else even matters. Where I'm not too nervous to pray at home because I'm scared my family might see.. I want to get to the point where it's just me and my sweet, sweet Jesus.

Call me crazy, radical, overboard, a freak.. they're all true.
I am CRAZY about my Saviour!
I am RADICAL for my Lord!
I am OVERBOARD in my faith in God!
and most of all..

"And the Lord said unto Joshua, This day have I rolled away the reproach of Egypt from off you. Wherefore the name of the place is called Gilgal unto this day." -Joshua 5:9

Saturday, June 5, 2010

My spirit is willing!

The closer we get to God the more the devil fights us.
The harder he fights, too.

It makes me quite angry.

I wish he would just leave us all alone and let us worship our God.
Does he not realize that no matter what he does, he is still going to lose this fight???
I wish he would give up. I'm a lost cause for him. I refuse to back down.

Youth camp is this coming week. Maybe that's why he is fighting so hard right now. He knows God is going to bless me this week. He doesn't want me to be blessed. But it's not about him. It's about GOD!!

I don't care what I have to do, I'M NOT BACKING DOWN, DEVIL!!!!

Revelation 12:9-12
And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the devil, and satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him. And I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, Now is come salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of his Christ: for the accuser of our brethren is cast down, which accused them before our God day and night. And they overcame him by the blood of the lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto death. Therefore rejoice, ye heavens, and ye that dwell in them. Woe to the inhabiters of the earth and of the sea! for the devil is come down unto you, having great wrath, because he knoweth that he hath but a short time. 
Revelation 12:17
And the dragon was wroth with the woman, and went to make war with the remnant of her seed, which keep the commandments of God, and have the testimony of Jesus Christ. 

I guess I should be glad he is fighting me.. it means I'm doing something right..
I'm just ready to breakthrough and see what it is he is trying to keep me from. Cause I can tell it's going to be something GOOD.

I'm ready for camp to get here.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

The Perfect Will of God

It is a great feeling to be in the prefect will of God!
(Not permissive.)
To know that He is there, always, protecting you and keeping you safe.

And to know that He listens to your prayers!
For the past week I have been praying for my step mom's brother-in-law to be healed of throat cancer. And she just told me that today they found out it is gone!!
How exciting!! :)
Not only that he was healed, because that TRULY is an amazing thing! But also, that my prayer was answered!!
I think this is the first prayer, on that level, that I have prayed and seen answered in this way!
Oh it's so exciting!!

Everything in my life has been falling into place lately. It is all working itself out.

Tis' so sweet to trust in Jesus! Just to take Him at His word, just to rest upon His promise, just to know thus saith the Lord. Jesus Jesus how I trust Him, how life proves Him o'er and o'er, Jesus Jesus precious Jesus!!

1 John 5:14-15
"And this is the confidence that we have in Him, that, if we ask any thing according to His will, He heareth us: And if we know that He hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of Him."

God is moving and working in my life like never before right now.
This joy I feel is like a fire shut up in my bones!
I just can't contain it!! 

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

The Step of Faith

I haven't blogged in two days. 
It feels weird. 

a lot has happened to me since then, spiritually.

God just keeps drawing me closer and closer to Him. It's an amazing feeling!! 

You know, it amazes me how much we ask of God then we doubt that He will provide for us. 
Matthew 6:26 says, "Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?"

God provides for the birds and the fish and all the animals and plants in the world, so why do we doubt He would provide for us? I know having faith is a hard thing to accomplish. Oh boy do I know that! But God will provide that too, if we just ask.
The Bible says ask and ye shall receive. 
We are God's children!! He will take care of us and He will provide everything that we need!

You may wonder why God is putting you through the trials you're going through... I bet it's so you can learn to lean on Him more. Have you been getting comfortable? Did you start to forget the God was the reason you had everything you had? A lot of times we forget God is blessing us, so He takes it away so we remember that we have to lean on HIM. God isn't going to continue to bless someone who doesn't acknowledge Him and thank Him for all the wonderful blessings He has placed in their life. Everything God puts us through will draw us closer to Him. We just have to keep our head up and stay strong.
God already won the victory for us!! Victory is a guarantee when you're a child of God! 

Look at Job. EVERYTHING was taken from him. But he still praised God. He never doubted that God was going to take care of him. And in the end he got double everything he had before!! 
I want faith like Job. 

The woman with the issue of blood. She had some pretty strong faith too. She was so weak in her body, she literally had to crawl to Jesus. She had to push through so many people who didn't want her to make it there. They didn't think she should be "bothering" Jesus. They thought He was "too busy" for someone like that. But she pushed. and pushed. and PUSHED her way through. As weak in her body as she was, she made it! She didn't let her faith die. Her faith was so strong, all she did was touch the HEM of His garment. In a mob of people, Jesus felt HER touch the HEM if His garment. There was a ton of people all around Him and bumping into Him, yet He still felt her above everyone else. It was her faith that kept her going. Her faith that made Him feel her. 
She was healed immediately. 

You know, there's a lot of people who don't want to see you make it where God is taking you. You will face people and situations everyday of your life that the devil will use to try and stop you from making it to the hem of His garment. But it's FAITH that is going to get you there. You have to keep pushing through the mob. Through the struggles and hard times. Through everyone telling you that you're not good enough and you're not gonna make it. GOD IS ON YOUR SIDE! There's nothing you can't do with Him! You must keep the faith. Keep pushing. All you have to do is touch the hem of His garment. When you get there, God will bless you. He will reward those who seek Him and are continually striving to be in His perfect will. 

There will always be someone somewhere who is against you. It's the devil's job to make sure that happens. The sooner you overcome the people who are trying to stop you from accomplishing God's plan for your life, the better off you will be. It reminds me of Bro. Greg Robert's message "Step Over It".. We must step over all the hurt and pain and scars from our past. We must step over the people who speak against us. And we must step in to His perfect will for our life! God will bless us more than we could ever imagine if we just take that step of faith and push through the crowd to touch the hem of His garment!!