We can't even TOUCH it!!

Genesis 3:3
"But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die."

He didn't just say we can't eat of it, He said we can't touch it! We must stay as far away from sin as we possibly can! The more we play around in the world the more tempted we will become and before we know it we will have given our selves to the devil.

2 Corinthians 7:1
"Having therefore these promises, dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God."

James 1:26-27
"If any man among you seem to be righteous, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion is vain. Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, to visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world."

James 4:4
"Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God."

James 4:-8
"Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw nigh to God and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded."

1 John 2:15
"Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him."


I'm just going to let the Word of God speak. I think these verses alone say enough. They pretty much sum it all up. There is nothing I can add to this, if these scriptures don't get the point across I don't know what will.

The best thing I ever did do!

♫ I'll tell you the best thing I ever did do, I took off the old coat and put on the new..  ♫

I am so blessed to be a child of the King! Everyday with Him is a new experience. Some days are hard and some days are easy but everyday is worth it!

The Lord has blessed me with so much! I am forever thankful for everything He blesses me with. He gave me a roof over my head, food on the table, a wonderful family, the best parents anyone could ask for, some amazing friends, a wonderful church and an amazing pastor! He has blessed me with everything I need!
But more importantly than all of those things, He has blessed me with His unconditional, undying LOVE! He never ceases to amaze me. I don't deserve anything He has given me. Especially His mercy and grace. But He still gives it to me. 


"Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows." -Matthew 10:31


If God cares enough about the sparrow in the air to provide their every need oh how much more does He care for HIS children!!






I am so beyond thankful that I was chosen by God to be His child. I am so glad that He loves me despite my failures. 


I don't see how anyone could deny Him..
Look around... He is evident in everything on this Earth. His creation is beyond beautiful. 






"In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was dark and without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness."  -Genesis 1:1-4


"But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvelous light:" -1 Peter 2:9


"Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house." -Matthew 5:14-15


God has called His children to be a light to the world, to stand out and be a witness for Him. In Genesis 1:4 it says that "God divided the light from the darkness." So we must be completely set apart from the darkness of this world. "what communion hath light with darkness?" (2 Corinthians 6:14) If we are trying to mix with all the sin and darkness of this world how will we be the true light He has called us to be?




Just something to think about :)

The AWESOMENESS of GODLY friends :D

"And when they could not come nigh unto him for the press, they uncovered the roof where he was: and when they had broken it up, they let down the bed wherein the sick of the palsy lay." -Mark 2:4




I thank God for putting these kind of friends in my life. Friends that will tear the roof off for me... Friends that help me come back to Jesus when everything around me is falling apart and I don't know which direction to go!


These kind of friends are the best in the world! I don't know what I would do without them. 






anywho..


"And he said unto him, Arise, go thy way: thy faith hath made thee whole." -Luke 17:19




Last night, Bro Jr talked about being made whole and not just being cleansed. 
.Luke 17:11-19.
Once we are cleansed, we have to let God make us whole again. We have to get rid of our baggage. The more we dwell on it the harder and harder it will become to be made whole! We have to learn to forgive our selves and move on once God forgives us. 
Everything that the devil stole from us, God is waiting to give back to us! We just have to let Him! It is the will of God that each one of us be made whole! In order to be made whole, we must enter into His presence. Let Him heal us and completely restore us!!


I needed to hear this message last night. I was letting God cleanse me, but I wasn't letting Him make me whole and restore me! Really, I didn't even know I had that option. I didn't realize the difference. 
God is AMAZINGGGG!!
He works in so many ways- ways we never expect! 




Through amazing friends and people we never expected. 


My friends really did surprise me this weekend. I mean, I knew they loved me. And I knew they would always be there to help. But I didn't think they would be so.... understanding? I guess that's the word. I mean, they are very understanding about things but with everything that's been going on the past couple months I didn't think they would be. BUT they were :) And I love them all the more for it!! 


THANK YOU GUYS SOOO MUCH! YOU WILL NEVER FULLY UNDERSTAND HOW THANKFUL I AM TO EVERYONE OF Y'ALL :D


Anyways, I would love to write more but it's time to take my puppy to the vet :)

It didn't break me, O it MADE me! :)

"All I wanna do is love you, all I wanna do is lay here right at Your feet, as i lift my hands towards heaven let Your fire fall down on me rekindle the fire within me Lord, do it once again..."


I have officially been through my first "make me or break me" trials in my Christian walk. And I came out VICTORIOUS! Hallelujah! 
This walk is not an easy one, but I will tell you what.. it's the only walk I EVER want to walk! I learned that you really do have to praise worship God even when you don't feel like it and even when you don't want to and even when you can't FEEL Him. Because His word says "I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee." And even though we go through time when it FEELS like He is nowhere to be found, we have to remember He IS with us! No matter what that devil tries to get you to believe, GOD IS WITH YOU!!! You must trust in His word and BELIEVE! 


My God! 
I got my breakthrough today!
And all it took was some one-on-one time with my Heavenly Father! Imagine that! ha.
I realized today that it was my fault I was struggling so bad. I guess I knew all along it was but I didn't want to admit it. I kept blaming God for leaving me, but He was there all along. He never left me. Looking back I can see that. I wouldn't have made it as long as I have if He would've left me. I would've given up. But He was with me :) 


THANK YOU LORD FOR STAYING WITH ME AND HAVING PATIENCE DURING MY TIME OF IGNORANCE!! 


Now that my joy is back, I should be writing more often. After all, this blog is all about joy, is it not?




I just wanna shout from the roof tops again! I feel that new convert joy coming back! 


(Haggai 2:4-9)


IT'S JOY UNSPEAKABLE AND FULL OF GLORY!


"And I will shake all nations, and the desire of all nations shall come: and I will fill this house with glory, saith the Lord of hosts."
 -Haggai 2:7

Shake the snake in the fire!

Today has been a WONDERFUL day... spiritually.
But other wise not so good- my granddad got put back in the hospital. He has a huge blood clot in his leg.. Please keep him in your prayers!

But other than that today was awesome. I finally feel like I'm getting somewhere in my walk with God. I'm really excited :)

Anyways...
Acts 28:5 says "And he shook off the beast into the fire, and felt no harm."
This scripture is talking about how the venomous viper bit Paul in the hand and he just shook it off in the fire and felt no harm.
This really spoke to me. If you think about it, the viper, or serpent, could represent satan and how he reaches up and bites us with temptations and trials and he just fights us constantly with different things. Well if we would just get set on fire for God we would be able to shake satan off into the fire of God that burns in us and we would feel no harm! Satan expects to kill us with every attack, just like that venomous snake was expected to kill Paul, but Paul just shook him into the fire and kept going. He didn't dwell on the attack and he didn't let it over take him, he just shook the snake into the fire! If only we could learn to shake the devil into the fire, how much more joy we would have!



I think Acts is my new favorite book. I had never read all of it before, but the past couple days that's all I've been reading and I finished it today. It was pretty amazing.

I'm so ready for God to start using me! I want to do a work for Him, I want to get started with what He has called me to do... It's a very scary thing, but I'm so ready for Him to start using me!!


I'm so glad God kindled the fire in me again :)

Desires

So, it's been a while since my last blog.
I think in the last one I was just getting home from senior youth camp..
Since then, I have been to junior youth camp and kids camp.

God is really working in my life right now, and He's really changing some things.
I'm beginning to learn what it means to be truly dedicated to Him.
It means I have to give things that I very deeply want to hang on to, and I have to change my desires to His desire. It's a tough lesson to learn. I'm still trying to completely learn it.

My one desire has always been to be married and have a family. That's all I've ever wanted out of life. But God has showed me that it's not about that. It's about living my life for Him and fulfilling the call He has placed on my life. Once I do that and completely focus on Him, then if it's His will, He will bless me with my desires


Pslam 37:4-5 Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.

Now I just have to make sure my desires are His desires.

So that's what's going on now..

I'm trying to grow in Him. It's a daily struggle... but if there were no struggle what would be the point? It would mean nothing to God if we didn't give things up to be closer to Him.

Above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8

Joy comes in the morning!

It's been quite a while since my last blog...
I was at youth camp all last week.

Boy did God move the whole week!!
He worked in me like He never has before! It was truly the most awesome experience of my life!

Then,
I came home.

I don't know what it is but ever since I woke up Saturday morning the devil has been fighting me harder than I have ever felt in my life! I don't know what I'm fighting or what I'm struggling with but it's something huge. I have never felt this low in my life. The harder I try to fight, the harder it gets. The devil keeps trying to get me to throw in the towel. To give up.
But I will stand strong! I've come way too far to turn back now!
The Lord is my strength and in Him will I trust!

I went to a camp meeting service with some friends tonight. God was speaking to my heart the whole time. But yet it felt like no matter what I did or how hard I tried I couldn't grasp hold of it.
But on the way home, we were listening to some random mix cd of different songs. I can't remember the name of the song and the only words I remember are "Yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord Amen", but in the middle of it there was a guy talking. You wanna know what he said?

"The Bible says that JOY comes in the morning, but morning doesn't have to have an a.m. behind it. Morning is when you wake up and realize that God is right there with you through it all."

I got chills when I heard that. It was like God was reinforcing what I couldn't grasp in the service... if that makes sense.
That if I would just realize He IS beside me and He hasn't left me (Hebrews 13:5- I will never leave thee nor forsake thee) then whatever this wall is that is standing in my way will fall and crumble. I have to keep pushing and I have to stay strong.

I just feel so... exhausted. Spiritually. Like I've put my everything into praying for my family and trying to be strong for them and trying to set the example for them and I just poured out everything I had on them and now there's nothing left for me. Does that sound selfish? I don't mean to be, at all. I just need God to fill me so full of His Spirit that I have enough left over for me after I pour it all out on them.

Which means, I need to seek His face more. I need to pray more. I need to fast more (more than 20 minutes haha... for those of you who were at camp). And I need to read & study my Bible more. I LONG to get to that place where He is truly all I want and all I desire. To that point where turning back isn't even an option. The point where I fall so in love with Him nothing or no one else even matters. Where I'm not too nervous to pray at home because I'm scared my family might see.. I want to get to the point where it's just me and my sweet, sweet Jesus.

Call me crazy, radical, overboard, a freak.. they're all true.
I am CRAZY about my Saviour!
I am RADICAL for my Lord!
I am OVERBOARD in my faith in God!
and most of all..
I AM A JESUS FREAK!!!



"And the Lord said unto Joshua, This day have I rolled away the reproach of Egypt from off you. Wherefore the name of the place is called Gilgal unto this day." -Joshua 5:9

My spirit is willing!

The closer we get to God the more the devil fights us.
The harder he fights, too.

It makes me quite angry.

I wish he would just leave us all alone and let us worship our God.
Does he not realize that no matter what he does, he is still going to lose this fight???
I wish he would give up. I'm a lost cause for him. I refuse to back down.

Youth camp is this coming week. Maybe that's why he is fighting so hard right now. He knows God is going to bless me this week. He doesn't want me to be blessed. But it's not about him. It's about GOD!!

I don't care what I have to do, I'M NOT BACKING DOWN, DEVIL!!!!

Revelation 12:9-12
And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the devil, and satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him. And I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, Now is come salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of his Christ: for the accuser of our brethren is cast down, which accused them before our God day and night. And they overcame him by the blood of the lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto death. Therefore rejoice, ye heavens, and ye that dwell in them. Woe to the inhabiters of the earth and of the sea! for the devil is come down unto you, having great wrath, because he knoweth that he hath but a short time. 
Revelation 12:17
And the dragon was wroth with the woman, and went to make war with the remnant of her seed, which keep the commandments of God, and have the testimony of Jesus Christ. 


I guess I should be glad he is fighting me.. it means I'm doing something right..
I'm just ready to breakthrough and see what it is he is trying to keep me from. Cause I can tell it's going to be something GOOD.

I'm ready for camp to get here.

The Perfect Will of God

It is a great feeling to be in the prefect will of God!
(Not permissive.)
To know that He is there, always, protecting you and keeping you safe.

And to know that He listens to your prayers!
For the past week I have been praying for my step mom's brother-in-law to be healed of throat cancer. And she just told me that today they found out it is gone!!
How exciting!! :)
Not only that he was healed, because that TRULY is an amazing thing! But also, that my prayer was answered!!
I think this is the first prayer, on that level, that I have prayed and seen answered in this way!
Oh it's so exciting!!


Everything in my life has been falling into place lately. It is all working itself out.


Tis' so sweet to trust in Jesus! Just to take Him at His word, just to rest upon His promise, just to know thus saith the Lord. Jesus Jesus how I trust Him, how life proves Him o'er and o'er, Jesus Jesus precious Jesus!!


1 John 5:14-15
"And this is the confidence that we have in Him, that, if we ask any thing according to His will, He heareth us: And if we know that He hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of Him."



WOW.
God is moving and working in my life like never before right now.
This joy I feel is like a fire shut up in my bones!
I just can't contain it!! 

The Step of Faith

I haven't blogged in two days. 

It feels weird. 

BUTTTT 

a lot has happened to me since then, spiritually.

God just keeps drawing me closer and closer to Him. It's an amazing feeling!! 

You know, it amazes me how much we ask of God then we doubt that He will provide for us. 

Matthew 6:26 says, "Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?"

God provides for the birds and the fish and all the animals and plants in the world, so why do we doubt He would provide for us? I know having faith is a hard thing to accomplish. Oh boy do I know that! But God will provide that too, if we just ask.

The Bible says ask and ye shall receive. 

We are God's children!! He will take care of us and He will provide everything that we need!

You may wonder why God is putting you through the trials you're going through... I bet it's so you can learn to lean on Him more. Have you been getting comfortable? Did you start to forget the God was the reason you had everything you had? A lot of times we forget God is blessing us, so He takes it away so we remember that we have to lean on HIM. God isn't going to continue to bless someone who doesn't acknowledge Him and thank Him for all the wonderful blessings He has placed in their life. Everything God puts us through will draw us closer to Him. We just have to keep our head up and stay strong.

God already won the victory for us!! Victory is a guarantee when you're a child of God! 

Look at Job. EVERYTHING was taken from him. But he still praised God. He never doubted that God was going to take care of him. And in the end he got double everything he had before!! 

I want faith like Job. 

The woman with the issue of blood. She had some pretty strong faith too. She was so weak in her body, she literally had to crawl to Jesus. She had to push through so many people who didn't want her to make it there. They didn't think she should be "bothering" Jesus. They thought He was "too busy" for someone like that. But she pushed. and pushed. and PUSHED her way through. As weak in her body as she was, she made it! She didn't let her faith die. Her faith was so strong, all she did was touch the HEM of His garment. In a mob of people, Jesus felt HER touch the HEM if His garment. There was a ton of people all around Him and bumping into Him, yet He still felt her above everyone else. It was her faith that kept her going. Her faith that made Him feel her. 

She was healed immediately. 

You know, there's a lot of people who don't want to see you make it where God is taking you. You will face people and situations everyday of your life that the devil will use to try and stop you from making it to the hem of His garment. But it's FAITH that is going to get you there. You have to keep pushing through the mob. Through the struggles and hard times. Through everyone telling you that you're not good enough and you're not gonna make it. GOD IS ON YOUR SIDE! There's nothing you can't do with Him! You must keep the faith. Keep pushing. All you have to do is touch the hem of His garment. When you get there, God will bless you. He will reward those who seek Him and are continually striving to be in His perfect will. 

Remember- 

There will always be someone somewhere who is against you. It's the devil's job to make sure that happens. The sooner you overcome the people who are trying to stop you from accomplishing God's plan for your life, the better off you will be. It reminds me of Bro. Greg Robert's message "Step Over It".. We must step over all the hurt and pain and scars from our past. We must step over the people who speak against us. And we must step in to His perfect will for our life! God will bless us more than we could ever imagine if we just take that step of faith and push through the crowd to touch the hem of His garment!!

I'm not gonna strike out!

WOW!!
That's all I can say to describe this morning's service.

Bro. Eddy preached on "The Power of Passionate Desire".
It was amazing. To say the least.

I took notes... for a little while anyway, then I got too into it.
I'll share with you the notes I took:
The text he read was Proverbs 13:12,19
verse 12: Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life.
verse 19: The desire accomplished is sweet to the soul: but it is abomination to fools to depart to evil.

• Desire: a longing (an emotion or excitement of mind linked to faith)
• Desire is always linked with possession. It will push you until you have whatever it is you desire.
• Desire is not wishing, it is an earnest longing for something.
• Desire- Internal act which influences our will that makes us proceed to action
• Give God EVERYTHING you are!!!
• Desire will cause us to separate ourselves! 
• If there's no desire, there will be no prize!
• Desire will overcome every circumstance!
• If there's no desire, you're wasting your time!
• God will take the thing(s) you love most so you will love Him more!!

That's not many notes. And they don't even come close to showing what an amazing message the Lord gave us this morning. But I'm gonna elaborate a little bit on them.
This is what I got out of this message, the way it spoke to me.

We must have that burning desire in us to long after God.
To strive to be closer and closer to Him.
To never have enough of him.
No matter what God asks of us, we must be willing to give. We must focus all our energy and passion on Him. We must step up to the plate God has called us to and let the devil know we're not gonna strike out! We must be obedient to God. No matter what!
1 Peter 2:9 says "But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light."
God has been using this verse to really deal with me about being different for Him. Not caring what other people think. He called us to be a peculiar people and stand out for Him. Other people's opinions don't matter. In the end His opinion is what is gonna make or break us. Obedience is the key to our blessing. God has plan for every life He created. He will use each person to make a difference. If God places something on our heart, He did it so we could share it with someone else and be a light in their life. You never know what someone else is going through, what God laid on your heart may be exactly what they need to hear to get to their breakthrough point.


What do you desire???

Answered Prayer

God works in mysterious ways.


My last blog... which only about an hour ago... I was begging God to give me a word to stand on. Something to give me hope and peace and strength.

I just signed on facebook.
The first status update I read said,
"The Father has a plan, though its hard to see it now, and when you feel you are all alone , he is there no doubt!"


Don't tell me my God doesn't answer prayers! 
And boy did He answer that one FAST!

God will make a way

Today has been a tough one.
I thought everything was going to be fine. Yesterday I was really okay, even last night I was still really okay, this morning I was really okay... But ever since this afternoon I'm really not okay.
I don't know what it is.
God gave me such a peace about this yesterday. I knew it would all be okay.
Today, I feel that peace is gone.
Stand still and know that He is God. 
I know He is in control. And I know it WILL all work out. 
It's just this patience thing that keeps getting me.
There is a reason this is having to happen. I don't know the reason and I don't know what will come of it, but I do know God has His hand in this. 
It would just help a LOT if I had a word to stand on in this time. 
Something to give me hope and strength. 










Isaiah 54:5-10
For thy maker is thine husband; the Lord of hosts is his name; and thy redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called. For the Lord hath called thee as a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit, and a wife of youth, when thou wast refused, saith thy God. For a small moment have I forsaken thee; but with great mercies will I gather thee. In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment; but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee, saith the Lord thy redeemer. For this is as the waters of Noah unto me: for as I have sworn that the waters of Noah should no more go over the earth; so have I sworn that I would not be wwroth with thee, nor rebuke thee. For the mountians shall depart, and the hills be removed; but my kindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed saith the Lord that hath mercy on thee.

Procrastination

Post #2 for today.

I'm procrastinating. 

I really should be studying for my history class. But I also really don't want to :]

I see this becoming a problem. 

I just saw on the news how our "President" is working day and night on this whole oil spill crisis. 

Ha. 

That's funny isn't it? 

I hope everyone realizes how close Jesus' return is. I know, I've heard it all my life, also. But the signs have never been THIS evident before. 

It excites me really. 

I mean, I'm burdened for all the lost people in this world and I really do hate to see life as we know it collapse. But I'm at perfect peace. I'm not worried about what will happen, I know my God is in control. 

And I get to see my JESUS soon! :D

That's why I don't understand how people can go on day to day to day without Him in their lives. I know I wouldn't be able to make it. I would be going crazy right now. 

Anywho....

I love it when my mom calls me then tells me to hang on as soon as I answer the phone. 

Then hangs up on me.

She is so nice. :]

Ha. She just called me back and said she tried to call me but she dialed the wrong number, got an Asian person and thought it was me messing with her.... I feel bad for the lady who answered that phone call.. ha

Well, I'm gonna be a good student and study about Egypt and the beginning of time. And my central Asia map. 

I'm sure I'll be back tonight with an update after church.

My son, if thou be surety for thy friend, if thou hast stricken thy hand with a stranger, Thou art taken with the words of thy mouth, Do this now, my son, and deliver thyself, when thou art come into the hand of thy friemd; go, humble thyself, and make sure thy friend.

Proverbs 6:1-3

.Pro.vi.der.

God truly is amazing.

When He takes things away from us, He always replaces it. Sometimes it's with something of equal value and sometimes it's something even better.
Friendship is a gift from God.
It's something we should be thankful for, He doesn't have to bless us with friends.
But it seems He always does.
There are times it feels no one is there, like everyone has betrayed me. That's when I must learn to lean on Him. And once I learn that, He blesses me. He knows exactly what we can handle and exactly what we can't handle. That's why we go through the things we do. Trials make us stronger.
I thank God for all the trials He has put me through to help me grow in Him. It has made this life so much more worth living.
For without Him, it would be pointless.


John 14:1
Let not your heart be troubled; ye believe in God and believe also in me.

Mind Boggle

I know this is my third post for the day.
But hey it's the first day of my new experiment of blogging so it will be okay.

This week has been a tough one. I know it's just the devil fighting me though.
The revival this week has been AMAZING and God has been moving in some pretty powerful ways, so it only makes sense the devil chooses this week.
But hey, victory is my heritage! So I'm gonna stand still and know that HE is God. Everything will work out for His glory according to His perfect will.
.not.mine.

It's hard to realize that what we want in life might not be what God wants for us.
As humans we get so attached to other people. We rely solely on them and what they want from us. And in this process we forget about what GOD wants form us. Sometimes we even forget God.....
Gives you something to think about, huh?



Sometimes all I want is someone to love me. To know that there is one person who is with me. I mean, I know God is and I know this might sound bad, but I just want someone I can physically see.
That's when I must remind myself of El Shaddia (My God is more than enough)
But it would be nice to have someone there to encourage me and to share my joy with. Someone I know I could trust and count on... No matter what. He created us to have human companionship. That's why I don't understand why I can't have it right now.

Patience.
Must learn patience.

Maybe this is why I've been going through the things I've been going through. When you ask God for something, He will give it to you.. maybe not in the way you expected, but it will come. So, maybe when I asked for patience He gave me this because He knew I would have no choice but to be patient with it.

It's tough. I'm not gonna lie.

Something else I've really been having a hard time with lately is worshiping Him the way He wants me to and not caring what other people think. I always get nervous to raise my hand or just praise Him because I wonder what the person next to me or the person across the room might think. God has really been dealing with me about this. Especially this week since we're in revival. He tests me every night. I hate to say this, but I think I've failed each test so far. I want so badly to be obedient to Him, but it seems like every time He asks something of me I get scared and I forget everything He did for me.
But I've made up my mind. Tomorrow night WILL be different! I'm through trying to please other people. I'm tired of slacking because I'm scared of what some deadhead might think. I'm going to push past this barrier and PRAISE MY GOD!

Well, I think that's everything that's on my mind at the moment...
I'm sure more will come tomorrow.
Once I rest.


Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you not harm you plans to give you hope and a future.

El Shaddia

God is so mysterious.


We will never be able to comprehend all that He does and all that He is doing in this world. The way He uses each person in just normal day to day life amazes me. Not only each person but each circumstance. Everything we go through in life He uses to make us stronger in Him. 
To make us GROW in Him.
I will never be able to put into words the excitement He has brought to my life. Everyday I learn something new and encouraging! I can honestly say I DON'T KNOW what I would do without Him. 
He is who I lean on when my world goes crashing to the ground. 
I don't see how I ever made it without Him. I would have nothing to live for without Him. No purpose in life. 
He gives everything meaning.
I've gone through many changes in the last couple months of my life. Many heartaches and many struggles. But God was always there for me to run to. He made losing everything the best experience of my life. 
You know, we don't realize it but a lot of times God takes everything away from us to make us realize that He really is ALL we need. El Shaddia. My God is MORE than enough. 
My prayer is that I always remember this. No matter what. I  pray that I will be a light to this dying world. That I will make a differnce because of the difference HE has made in me.




Job 11:1-20
"Then answered Zophar the Naamathite, and said, Should not the multitude of words be answered? and should not a man full of talk be justified? Should thy lies make men hold their peace? and when thou mockest, shall no man make thee ashamed? For thou hast said, My doctrine is pure, and I am clean in thine eyes. But o that God would speak, and open His lips against thee; And that he would shew thee the secrets of wisdom, that they are double to that which is. Know therefore that God exacteth of thee less than thine iniquity deserveth. Canst thou find out the Almighty unto perfection? It is high as heaven; what canst thou do? deeper than hell; what canst thou know? The measure thereof is longer than the earth, and broader than the sea. If he cut off, and shut up, or gather together, then who can hinder him? For he knoweth vain men: he seeth wickedness also; will he not then consider it? For vain man would be wise, though man be born like a wild ass's colt. If thou prepare thine heart, and stretch out thine hands toward him; if iniquity be in thine hand, put it far away, and let not wickedness dwell in thy tabernacles. For then shalt thou lift up thy face without spot; yea, thou shalt be steadfast, and shalt not fear. Because thou shalt not forget thy misery, and remember it as waters that pass away: and thine age shall be clearer than the noonday; thou shalt be shine forth, thou shalt be as the morning. And thou shalt be secure, because there is hope; yea, thou shalt dig about thee, and thou shalt take thy rest in safety. Also thou shalt lie down, and none shall ,ake thee afraid; yea, many shall make suit unto thee. But the eyes of the wicked shall fail, and they shall not escape, and their hope shall be as the giving up of the ghost."
  

.releasing.the.joy.

I just can't contain this anymore.

My God is AMAZING!

I wish everyone could experience this feeling of joy and peace that I have experienced over the past three and a half months.
I was raised in church. I knew all about God and His mercy and grace and power. But I never cared. I had never TRUELY experienced it for myself. I thought people were crazy. Nothing could be that amazing... or so I thought.

But boy has GOD changed that opinion!

He saved my life!

Why?? I couldn't tell you that... He just loves me that much.. He sent His ONLY Son to die on a cross for MY sins! It just amazes me!! There was a drop of blood dripping from His body while He hung on that cross for ME! I mean think about this people, it was OVER 2,000 years ago... but there was still a drop for me, and you.

Ohhh how He amazes me!!

You can look at me like I'm crazy all you want. But I don't care anymore :)
All I want is His joy to shine out of me. I want you to see what a difference He has made in my life. Especially those of you who knew me before.
But even more than wanting you to see it, I want you to experience it for yourself. It's an unexplainable feeling. Nothing I say can give it justice.

Anyways,
I just had to express my feelings for a bit.
God has done too much for me, I can't just sit back and keep quiet any longer.

*Psalms 118*